On the other hand, having to verbalize why you are applying gives you the chance to think about what you want to get out of your college experience, and whether your target schools fit your goals and aspirations. What Colleges Get Out Of Reading Your "Why This College" Essay. Colleges want to check three things when they read this essay My College Experience Essay. at the Community College of Rhode Island, I struggled to become a successful student and find my niche in a new environment. Not sure of the major I wanted to pursue or my path lead to the lack of motivation and focus that I needed to get started with my college career. Looking in retrospect, I can truthfully say, I Sample College Application Essay 1 Your college application essay gives you a chance to show admission officers who you really are beyond grades and test scores. Learn about crafting an effective essay. However, blocking some types of cookies may impact your experience of the site and the services we are able to offer. More information
Essay Sample 1 Bogard | SAT Suite of Assessments
The following sample essay was written by a student named David. He wrote the transfer essay below for the Common Transfer Application in response to the prompt, "Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve" to words.
David is attempting to transfer from Amherst College to the University of Pennsylvania. As far as admissions standards go, this is a lateral move—both schools are extremely selective. His letter will need to be extremely strong for his transfer application to be successful.
Before we even get to the critique of David's essay, it's important to put his transfer into context. David is attempting to transfer into an Ivy League school. David needs to approach this effort at transfer realistically — even with excellent grades and a stellar essay, his chances of success are far from guaranteed. That said, he has many things going for him — he is coming from an equally demanding college where he has earned good grades, and he seems like the type of student who will certainly succeed at Penn.
He will need strong letters of college experience essay sample to round out his application. Now on to the essay Let's break down the discussion college experience essay sample David's transfer essay into several categories.
The strongest feature of David's essay is the focus. David is pleasingly specific in presenting his reasons for transferring. He knows exactly what he wants to study, and he has a clear understanding of what both Penn and Amherst have to offer him. David's description of his experience in Israel defines the focus of his essay, and he then connects that experience to his reasons for wanting to transfer. There are lots of bad reasons to transfer, but David's clear interest in studying anthropology and archaeology makes his motives seem both well thought-out and reasonable.
Many transfer applicants are trying to move to a new college because they are running away from some kind of bad experience, sometimes something academic, sometimes something more personal. David, however, clearly likes Amherst and is running towards something—an opportunity at Penn that better matches his newly discovered professional goals. This is a big positive factor for his application. The Common Transfer Application instructions state that the essay needs to be at least words.
The maximum length is words. David's essay comes in at around words. It is tight and concise. He doesn't waste time talking about his disappointments with Amherst, nor does he put much effort into explaining the things that other parts of his application will cover such as grades and extracurricular involvement. He does have a lot more space left to elaborate, but in this case the letter gets the job done well with few words. David gets the tone perfect, something that is difficult to do in a transfer essay.
Let's face it—if you are transferring it is because there is something about your current college experience essay sample that you don't like. It's easy to be negative and critical of your classes, your professors, your college environment, and so on. It's also easy to come across as a whiner or an ungenerous and angry person who doesn't have the inner resources to make the most of one's circumstances.
David avoids these pitfalls. His representation of Amherst is extremely positive. He praises the school while noting that the curricular offerings do not match college experience essay sample professional goals.
Partly because of the tone discussed above, David comes across as a pleasant person, someone who the admissions folks are likely to want to have as part of their campus community, college experience essay sample. Moreover, David presents himself as someone who likes to push himself to grow. He is honest in his reasons for going to Amherst—the school seemed like a good "fit" given his small-town upbringing.
It is, therefore, impressive to see him so actively working to expand his experiences beyond his provincial roots. David has clearly grown at Amherst, and he is looking forward to growing more at Penn. When applying to a place like Penn, the technical aspects of the writing need to be flawless. David's prose is clear, engaging and free of errors, college experience essay sample.
If you struggle on this front, be sure to check out these tips for improving your essay's style. And if grammar isn't your greatest strength, be sure to work through your essay with college experience essay sample who does have strong grammar skills. David's college transfer essay does exactly what an essay needs to do, and he includes the features of a strong transfer essay.
He clearly articulates his reasons for college experience essay sample, and he does so in a positive and specific way. David presents himself as a serious student with clear academic and professional goals. We have little doubt that he has the skills and intellectual curiosity to succeed at Penn, and he has made a strong argument about why this particular transfer makes a lot of sense.
Odds are still against David's success given the competitive nature of Ivy League transfers, but he has strengthened his application with his essay. Share Flipboard Email. Allen Grove. College Admissions Expert.
Allen Grove is an Alfred University English professor and a college admissions expert with 20 years of experience helping students transition to college. our editorial process.
Facebook Facebook Twitter Twitter. Updated February 01, college experience essay sample, Key Takeaways: A Winning Transfer Essay Have a clear academic reason for your transfer. Personal reasons are fine, but academics need to come first.
Stay positive. Don't speak badly of your current school. Emphasize what you like about your target school, college experience essay sample, not what you dislike about your current school. Be meticulous. Grammar, punctuation, and style matter, college experience essay sample.
Show that you put time and care into your writing. Cite this Article Format. Grove, Allen. Sample College Transfer Essay. copy citation. Watch Now: How to Transfer Schools. Tips for Writing a Winning College Transfer Essay.
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Feb 01, · The following sample essay was written by a student named David. He wrote the transfer essay below for the Common Transfer Application in response to the prompt, "Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the Writing—1: This essay demonstrates little cohesion and inadequate skill in the use and control of language. The essay begins with a very broad central claim (In “Let there be dark,” Paul Bogard talks about the importance of darkness) but otherwise lacks a recognizable introduction and conclusion. The writer’s two main ideas are On the other hand, having to verbalize why you are applying gives you the chance to think about what you want to get out of your college experience, and whether your target schools fit your goals and aspirations. What Colleges Get Out Of Reading Your "Why This College" Essay. Colleges want to check three things when they read this essay
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